Trials

I have written and rewritten this post too many times to count.  It has been a struggle to put my thoughts and feelings into words.  This week has been one of the toughest in my life.  Just like anyone else, I’ve endured many trials, nothing terribly unique.  Mr. Man and I have had struggles and hardships we’ve weathered through…but this week…this week has definitely made me pull out my big girl panties.

I can do hard things!  I CAN do hard things!  I can…but usually I don’t want to.  I am a stubborn, hardheaded gal.  Probably because my dad comes from a long line of Norwegians.  When it comes to enduring to the end, I am pretty amazing a living in denial and pushing it deep down.  It’s just what I do, I’ve always been a person who prepares for the worst and then doesn’t accept it when it actually does occur.

Growing up I observed my parents help their parents over and over.  It’s who they are.  I distinctly remember one summer, we spent 2 weeks in Salem, OR while dad completely rebuilt grandma and grandpa’s deck by himself.  We would help with the harvest sometimes, dad is a very handy dude so he would remodel, rebuild and work on both his parents’ and my mom’s parents’ houses and cars.  He is just a service oriented individual.  My parents instilled in all of us children that service quality as well as hard work and dedication.

When my grandparents began having health problems, I watched my parents rush to their side to help.  They rallied their siblings and comforted their families.  I watched my parents make some pretty difficult decisions both medical and physical.  When I was a Junior in High School my dad’s dad was coming to the end of his lifelong battle with Lupus.  We were just pulling into the hotel in Eugene, OR when my mom received a phone call from her mom.  Grandma was calling to let my mom know she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I fell apart, it was difficult enough knowing that we were essentially in Oregon to say our goodbye’s to my grandpa and then we received terrible news.  My dad is the 2nd oldest of his siblings and the oldest son, and my mom is the oldest of 2 children in her family.  They’ve been a rock in every family emergency.  Even when my little sister passed away, even when they were stricken with unthinkable grief, they were comforting us kids as well as their parents and siblings.  I’ve watched this, I’ve seen my mom and dad stuff their grief, pain, and anxieties down and dive right in to be a comfort for others.

Early Monday morning my dad had a heart attack.  Mom and dad were in town because Mr. Man blessed Goob on Sunday.  Our religion has a tradition of performing baby blessings, usually within the first months of a baby being born.  It’s pretty similar to a christening.  So my parents, my in-laws and my 2 youngest brothers all came for the ceremony.  We had a packed house and it was a blast.  Sunday evening the weather was amazing for this time of year so we went for a walk.  It wasn’t a strenuous walk, but by the time we arrived back home, dad was out of breath.  None of us thought much of it and we continued on with our night.  We all went to bed anticipating the next day; next thing I know I go from sound asleep to mom yelling at me that dad was having a heart attack.  It was right around 5 am and I don’t think I’ve ever flown out of bed so quickly.

In the wake of the situation, I have been privileged to witness miracle after miracle.  I have watched and heard my brothers and Mr. Man exercise the priesthood they hold to give my dad and mom multiple blessings.  Each time my dad received a blessing for the sick and afflicted he was promised that he would live through this trial and continue on in this life.  Both my mom and dad were told that hosts of angels were with them to comfort them and be with them through this trial.  My dad was promised that he would live long enough to see all of his grandsons return home from missions and that he and mom would walk hand in hand again through the temple doors.

Hearing those promises and blessings given on more than one occasion, by more than one person, was a tremendous comfort to my family.  I am SO grateful and SO blessed to have a family full of worthy priesthood holders.  My parents have been extremely blessed throughout the last week, and I know they will continue to be blessed.  Many, many prayers by many loved ones and friends have been sent to heaven on behalf of my family.  I can’t help but feel gratitude to every individual who has prayed, given service and blessed us.  My close friends, my ward family and my aunts, uncles, grandma, cousins have rallied around us and given so much.  I am deeply grateful for the outpouring of love and support.  Having that enabled this trial to be bearable.

In the coming weeks and months, I can only hope that prayers will continue to be prayed and service continued to be given to my parents.  Mostly I hope that the blessings they have received will continue to resonate with them and be a comfort when the healing and recuperation may become too great to endure.

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